"Spiro Agnew: He Sure Had A Way With Words"

By Bill Sievert


     "The charges against me are, if you'll pardon the expression,
     damned lies. I am innocent of these charges. If indicted, I will
     not resign." -- September, 1973.

Within a month after these remarks, Spiro Theodore Agnew had to eat this last
taste of vice-presidential oratory, a task that did not come easy to a man 
who spent most of his five years in the public spotlight. Before Agnew is
forgotten amidst the crisis surrounding his former boss, let's review some of
the words he gave us to remember him by:

                                     *

     "If you tell me hippies and yippies are going to be able to do the
     job of helping America, I'll tell you this: They can't run a bus;
     they can't serve in a government office; they can't run a lathe in
     a factory. All they can do is lay down in the park and sleep or kick
     policemen." -- September 2, 1968.

                                     *

     "A Nixon-Agnew administration will abolish the credibility gap and
     reestablish the truth -- the whole truth -- as its policy."
     -- September 21, 1973.

                                     *

     "I've been into many [ghettos] and, to some extent, I'd have to say
     this: If you've seen one city slum, you've seen them all."
     -- October 18, 1973.

                                     *

     "We can afford to separate [protesters] from our society with no
     more regret than we should feel over discarding rotten apples from
     a barrel." -- October 30, 1973.

                                     *

     "My 14-year-old daughter, Kim, wanted to wear a black armband to
     school to demonstrate against the War. I told her I had no
     objections if she really understood the facts. So I took a lot of
     time to tell her [about] the situation. She said, 'I understand
     what you're saying, but I don't agree.' So I said, 'Kim, I have
     given you the arguments for not just getting out, and you just
     haven't given me a logical argument against it. So there will be no
     black armband and no participation in a demonstration.'"
     -- October 6, 1973.

                                     *

     "I find it hard to believe that the way to run the world has been
     revealed to a minority of pushy youngsters and middle-aged
     malcontents." -- October 9, 1973.

                                     *

     "The student now goes to college to proclaim rather than to learn.
     A spirit of national masochism prevails, encouraged by an effete
     corps of impudent snobs who characterize themselves as
     intellectuals." -- October 18, 1973.

                                     *

     "For millions of Americans, the network reporter who covers a
     continuing issue, like ABM or civil rights, becomes in effect the
     presiding judge in a national trial by jury... I am asking whether
     a form of censorship exists when the news that 40 million Americans
     receive each night [with its] instant analysis and querulous
     criticism is determined by a handful of men responsible only to
     their corporate employers and filtered through a handful of
     commentators who admit their own set of biases."
     -- November 3, 1973.

                                     *

     "To penetrate the cacophony of seditious drivel emanating from the
     best-publicized clowns in our society and their fans in the Fourth
     Estate... we need a cry of alarm, not a whisper." -- February, 1970.

                                     *

     (In reaction to protests over the invasion of Cambodia on the day
     before the Kent State massacre): "I think if the War were over, they
     would find something else to use as an excuse for throwing firebombs
     into the Bank of America." -- May 3, 1970.

                                     *

     "Ultraliberalism today translates into a whimpering isolationism in
     foreign policy, a mulish obstructionism in domestic policy, and a
     pusillanimous pussyfooting on the critical issue of law 'n' order."
     -- September 10, 1973.

                                     *

     (On his role as political spokesman and hatchet man for Nixon):
     "Clearly, President Nixon wants me to do this, just as he did it for
     President Eisenhower. It's the most virile role I have."
     -- January, 1972.


On October 10, 1973, Spiro T. Agnew lost his virility, and was forced to
resign his office under charges of income tax evasion and graft.


- Rolling Stone, 11/22/73.

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